30 Ways to Get Your Baby to Sleep

Here are some tried and tested, proven attitudes and techniques for getting your child to sleep and keeping him asleep. Most of these are applicable to infants and toddlers of all ages.


1. Try to develop a realistic attitude about getting your child to sleep. Sleeping, like eating, is not a state you can force a baby into. The best you can do is to create a secure environment that allows sleep to overtake your baby. A realistic long-term goal is to help your baby develop a healthy attitude about sleep - that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a secure state to remain in. Many sleep problems in older children and adults stem from children growing up with an unhealthy attitude about sleep. To many, that sleep was not a particularly pleasant state to enter and was a frightening state to remain in. Night-time parenting is a long-term investment. If you teach your baby a restful attitude about sleep when they are young, both you and your children will sleep better when they are older.

2. Beware of sleep trainers - they command a high price tag and possible risks. Most of these sleep-training techniques are just variations of the old cry-it-out method. Technology has found its way into the babys' bedroom too. Tired parents are induced to buy a variety of sleep-inducing gadgets designed to lull a baby off to sleep alone in her cot. Oscillating or swinging cradles, cot vibrators that recreate a car ride and teddy bears that "breathe" are just a few. Most of these `gadgets promise to take the parents place when it comes to night duty. It is fair to say that not all sleep trainers are to be ignored. However, you need to be discerning.

Don't try to change your baby. If your present daytime or nighttime routine is not working for you, think about what changes you can make in yourself and your lifestyle that will make it easier for you to meet your baby's needs. You may well be able to control your own reactions to a situation but you cannot control how your baby reacts. Be discerning about advice that promises instant results. Afterall the last thing you want to do is lose your baby's trust trying out a method that your baby hates and you are not really comfortable about using from the outset. Trust yourself, you will become an expert in your baby.

3. Stay flexible. No single approach will work with all babies all the time or even all the time with the same baby. Don't persist with a failing experiment. If the sleep routine that you are following does not work for your family don't persist. Develop a night-time routine that works for you. All babies have different night-time temperaments and families have varied lifestyles. Keep working at a night-time routine that fits the temperament of your baby and your own lifestyle. If it's working, stick with it. If it's not, be open to trying other things. You should also be prepared for one type of routine to work at one stage of your child's an life, yet need a change as she enters another stage. Be open to trying different approaches. Follow your heart and you and your baby will eventually work out the right bedtime routine for you and your family.

4. Decide where baby sleeps best. There is no right or wrong place for babies to sleep. Wherever all family members sleep the best is the right arrangement for you and your baby. Some babies sleep best in their own cot in their bedroom, some sleep better in a cot in their parents' bedroom. Other babies sleep best snuggled right next to you and your partner in your bed. There are many any parents that prefer a co-sleeping arrangement. I did with my first son and loved him sleeping with me, though it did take my husband a while to get used to it - initially he was paranoid that he would roll and squash the baby. In reality, most parents use various sleeping arrangements at various stages during their child's couple of years. Always be open to changing styles as baby's developmental needs and your family situation changes.

5. Get your baby used to a variety of sleep associations. The way your baby goes to sleep at night is the way she expects to go back to sleep when she awakens. So if your baby is always rocked or nursed to sleep, she will expect to be rocked or nursed back to sleep. Sometimes nurse her off to sleep, sometimes rock her off to sleep, sometimes sing her off to sleep, and sometimes use tape recordings. There are two schools of thought on the best way to put babies to sleep: the parent-soothing method and the self-soothing method. Both have advantages and possible disadvantages.

Parent-soothing method. When your baby is ready to sleep you help to make a comfortable, relaxed nd soothing transition from being awake to falling asleep, usually by nursing, rocking, singing, or whatever comforting techniques work.

Advantages
a)Your Baby learns a healthy sleep attitude – that sleep is a pleasant state to enter and a secure state to remain in.
b)Creates fond memories about being lulled to sleep.
c)Builds parent-infant trust

Disadvantages
Because of the concept of sleep associations, your baby learns to rely on an outside prop to get to sleep, so when he wakes up he will expect help to get back to sleep. You, your partner or both could end up totally exhausted!

Self-soothing method. Your baby is put to bed awake and goes to sleep by himself. Parents offer intermittent comforting but are not there when baby drops off to sleep.

Advantages
If your baby learns to go to sleep by himself, he may be better able to put himself back to sleep without parental help, because he doesn't associate going to sleep with parents comforting. Some parents consider this tough on their baby but it is eventually less exhausting for parents.

Disadvantages
Seldom works for high-need babies with persistent personalities
Overlooks medical reasons for nightwaking
Risks parents becoming less sensitive to baby's cries

Remember, in working out what suits you and your child, be sensitive to the night-time needs of your individual baby and remember your ultimate goal - to create a healthy sleep attitude in your baby and to get all family members a restful night's sleep.

6. Daytime mellowing. A peaceful, productive time during the day is more likely to lead to a restful night. The more attached you are to your baby during the day and the more baby is held and calmed during the day, the more likely this peacefulness is to carry through into the night. If your baby has a restless night, try to think back to unsettling things that may have occured during the day: Are you too busy? Are the nursery or childminder the right match for your baby? Does your baby spend a lot of time being held by you or someone else? It is sometimes true to say that babies who are carried in baby slings for several hours a day settle better at night.

7. Set a predictable and consistent nap schedule. Try to pick out the times of the day that you yourself are most tired - perhaps 11:00 a.m. and 3:00 p.m. then lie down with your baby at these times every day for about a week to get your baby used to a daytime nap routine. This also sets you up to get some much-needed daytime rest rather than be tempted to scurry around hoovering, washing and `getting things done' while your baby is napping. Babies who have regular, consistent nap schedules during the day are more likely to get off to sleep easier and for longer stretches at night.

8. Consistent bedtimes and rituals. Babies who enjoy consistent and regular bedtimes and familiar bedtime rituals usually go to sleep easier and stay asleep longer. Of course, due to modern lifestyles consistent bedtimes are not always as possible or realistic, as they used to be. Many parents both have to work and often don't get home until six or seven o'clock at night, so it's common for babies and toddlers to miss out on their bedtime ritual. Parents often feel guilty and want to spend more time with their child and for many older babies this becomes prime time with their parents and they are going to milk it for all they can get. Within some families a later afternoon nap and a later bedtime is more much more practical.

9. Calming down. Give baby a warm bath followed by a soothing massage to relax tense muscles and busy minds. Be careful, though, as this can stimulate some babies.

10. Make sure your baby eats and drinks enough during the day. Your baby needs to learn that daytime is for eating and night-time is mostly for sleeping. Some older babies and toddlers can get so involved in playing during the day that they don't want to eat at mealtimes. They tend to try to make up for it during the night by waking frequently to feed. Try to stop this habit by feeding your baby at least every three hours during the day to cluster the baby's feedings during the waking hours. On your baby's first night waking, attempt a full feeding, otherwise some babies, especially breastfed infants, get in the habit of nibbling all night. This is not too bad if you are co-sleeping but can be exhausting if you are constantly to-ing and fro-ing between bedrooms.

11. Nursing. Some mothers like to nestle next to their baby and breastfeed or bottlefeed him off to sleep. The smooth and loving continuation from warm bath, to warm arms, to warm breast, to warm bed is a recipe for sleep to soon follow.

12. Fathering down. For fathers, a lovely way to prepare your baby for bed is to place your baby in the neck nestle position (nestle baby's head against the front of the neck with your chin against the top of your baby's head. The vibration of the deeper male voice will lulls your baby and make him drowsy for sleep) and rock your baby to sleep. Another nice method is to lie down with your baby, still in the neck nestle position, and let the baby reach his dozing state in this way.

13. Rocking or walking down. Try rocking baby to sleep in a bedside rocking chair, or walk with baby, patting her back and singing or praying.

14. Wearing down. Some babies are so active and lively during the day that they have trouble winding down at night. Try placing your baby in a baby sling and wear her around the house for a half-hour or so before the designated bedtime. When she is dozing in the sling, ease her out of the sling onto her bed. This is a great method for fathers too.

15. Swinging down. Wind-up swings for winding down babies are a great tool for parents who don't have the time, energy or creativity to muster up rituals of their own. Tired parents will pay anything for a good night's sleep and this is perfectly understandable. Once in a while a moving plastic seat may be more sleep inducing than a familiar pair of arms. Many high-need babies associate their parent's body with play and stimulation and will not drift off to sleep in a human swing. A mechanical one is far less stimulating, if not downright boring and, as such, can be a useful part of a sleep-ritual. However, it is important to remember, high-need babies can be quite resistant to mechanical mother substitutes and will usually protest anything less than their real mother! It might be an idea to borrow one for a week before actually going out and spending money on a swing. You may even discover that you are uncomfortable with mechanical mothering and decide to get more creative!

16. Driving down. If you've tried all the above transitioning techniques and your baby still does not want to go to sleep, try putting your baby in a carseat and drive around until she falls asleep. When you return home and she is in a deep sleep, carry the carseat (with the sleeping baby) into your bedroom and let baby remain in the carseat until the first nightwaking. If she is in a deep sleep you may be able to ease her out of the carseat into her own bed.

17. Mechanical mothers. Gadgets to put and keep baby asleep are becoming big business. It's all right to use these as relief when the main comforter wears out, but a steady diet of these artificial sleep inducers may be unhealthy.

Now that you've learned a few tricks to get your baby to sleep, here are some ways to keep your baby asleep.

18. Nightime attire. Try various ways of swaddling your baby at night. In the early months, many babies like to "sleep tight," securely swaddled in a cotton baby blanket. Older infants like to sleep "loose," and may sleep longer stretches with loose coverings that allow them more freedom of movement. Quite often, dressing a baby loosely during the day, but swaddling him at night, conditions the baby to associate sleep with swaddling. A baby who gets too hot or too cold may become restless. Adjust the layering according to the temperature of the room and the sleep habits of your baby. Allergy-prone babies sleep better in 100 percent cotton sleepwear.

19. The sound of silence: Since most babies can block out disturbing noise, you don't have to create a noiseless sleeping environment, yet some babies startle and awaken easily with sudden noises. Some people go as far as oiling the joints and springs of a squeaky cot, putting out the dog before he barks and turning the ringer off on the phone!

20. Darkness in the baby's room. Use opaque shades to block out the light, which may get you an extra hour of sleep if you have a baby that wakes up with the first ray of sunlight entering the bedroom.

21. Sounds to sleep by. Repetitive, nearly monotonous sounds that lull baby to sleep are known as white noise, such as the sounds of a fan, air conditioner, or even tape recordings of womb sounds or vacuum cleaner sounds. Also, try running water from a nearby faucet or shower, a bubbling fish tank, a loudly ticking clock, or a metronome set at sixty beats a minute. (These can all be tape-recorded.) Try music to sleep by, such as tape recordings of waterfalls or ocean sounds, or a medley of easy-listening lullabies on a continuous loop. These sleep-inducing sounds will remind your baby of the sounds she was used to hearing in the womb.

22. Soothing music and sounds. Try a tape recording of your baby's favorite lullabies, so when she awakens she can resettle herself to the familiar sleep-inducing sound of the music. You can make a medley of your own lullabies that have been proven sleep-inducers.

23. Leave a little bit of yourself. If your baby suffers from separation anxiety, try leaving a breast pad in the cradle, or play a tape recording of yourself singing a bedtime lullaby.

24. A full tummy. Suffing your baby with cereal before bedtime seldome works, however, a tablespoon or two given to a baby over six months of age may get you an extra hour or two. Tiny babies have tiny tummies, a bit bigger than the size of their fist. So, your baby's digestive system was designed for small, frequent feedings, which is why, in the early months, babies feed at least every 3 to 4 hours at night and more often during the day.

25. Reduce physical discomforts.

a) Clear the nose. In the early months, babies need clear nasal passages to breathe. Later they can alternatively breathe through their mouth if their nose is blocked. Bedroom inhalant allergies are a common cause of stuffy noses and consequent nightwaking. Dust-free your baby's bedroom as much as possible. Try not to use fuzzy blankets, down comforters and dust-collecting fuzzy toys. If your baby is particularly allergy-prone, a HEPA-type air filter will help. The hum and buzz of an air filter will also be an extra bonus, acting as `hite noise to lull your baby to sleep.

b) Relieve teething pain. Even though you may not yet be able to feel baby's teeth, teething discomfort may start as early as three months and continue on and off until the two-year molars appear. Telltail clues include a wet bedsheet under your baby's head, a drool rash on his cheeks and chin, swollen and tender gums and perhaps a slight fever and a touch of diarrhoea (though many doctors deny this!). With your doctor's permission you should give appropriate doses of Calpol and/or Bonjela just before your baby goes to sleep and repeat in four hours if your baby wakes up.

c) Change wet or soiled nappies. Some babies are bothered by wet nappies at night though most are not. If your baby sleeps through wet nappies, there is no need to wake her up just to change her (if you are treating a persistent or nasty nappy-rash then, of course, you must give her a fresh nappy). Bowel movements obviously necessitate a change. If possible, try to change your baby's nappy just before a feeding, as he is quite likely to fall asleep during or after feeding. Some breastfed babies, however, have a bowel movement during or immediately after a feeding and will need changing again.

d) Remove irritating nightware. Some babies cannot settle in synthetic sleepwear. Besides being restless, some babies show skin allergies to new clothing, detergents and fabric softeners by breaking out in a rash.

e) Remove airborne irritants. Environmental irritants may cause congested breathing passages and cause your baby to wake up. e.g cigarette smoke, baby talcum powder, paint fumes, hair spray, animal hair (keep animals out of an allergic child's bedroom), plants, clothing (especially wool), stuffed animals, dust from a bed canopy, feather pillows, blankets, and fuzzy toys that collect lint and dust. If your baby consistently awakens with a stuffy nose, suspect irritants or allergens in the bedroom.

26. A warm bed. Placing a warm baby onto cold sheets can cause trouble. Particularly during teh Winter, use flannel sheets or place a warm towel on the sheets to warm them (don't forget to remove it before putting your baby on the warmed sheets).

27. The right temperature and humidity. A consistent bedroom temperature of around 70 degrees F is preferable. Also, a relative humidity of around 50 percent is most conducive to sleep. Dry air may leave your baby with a stuffy nose that wakes him up. Beware, though, because too high humidity can cause allergy-producing moulds. A warm-mist vaporizer in your baby's sleeping area helps maintain an adequate and consistent relative humidity, especially with central heating. Again, the `white noise' of a consistent hum will lull your baby to sleep.

28. Hands first. Is your baby a born self-soother who awakens, whimpers, squirms, and then resettles by herself? Or is your baby, if not promptly attended to, one whose cries escalate and becomes angry and difficult to resettle? If you can get to your baby quickly before she completely awakens, you may be able to resettle her back to sleep with a firm laying on of hands. To add the finishing touch, pat your baby's back or bottom rhythmically to match your heartbeat. Remove your hands gradually – first one and then the other – easing the pressure slowly so as not to startle her awake. Sometimes fathers, perhaps because they have larger hands, are more successful in this hands-on ritual - I know, much to my annoyance, my husband could always manage this miraculously and I never could!!

29. Let your partner have his share of night-time parenting. It is very important for babies to get used to their father's way of comforting and being put to sleep (and back to sleep) otherwise mothers burn out. A father's participation in night-time parenting is especially important for the breastfeeding infant who assumes that `mum's cafe' is open all hours!

30. Hidden medical causes of nightwaking. If you've tried all these techniques and your infant is still waking up frequently – and painfully – it is possible that there may be an underlying medical problem contributing to your baby's nightwaking. One of the most common hidden medical causes of nightwaking (and colicky behavior) in babies is a condition known as gastro-oesophageal reflux (GER). Due to a weakness of a circular band of muscle where the oesophagus joins the stomach, irritating stomach acids are regurgitated into baby's oesophagus, causing pain - adults refer to a similar condition a heartburn. Clues that your baby may be suffering from GER are painful bursts of nightwaking, fussiness (particularly after eating), frequent spitting up (although not all babies with GER spit up regularly), frequent bouts of colicky, abdominal pain, frequent bouts of unexplained wheezing, throaty sounds after feeding.

Another hidden medical cause of nightwaking is allergies to formula or dairy products, either in milk-based formulas or in dairy products in a breastfeeding mother's diet. Clues that milk allergies may be causing nightwaking (and colicky behavior) are bloating, diarrhoea and a red rash around your baby's anus, in addition to many of the signs described above under GER. If your baby is not only waking up frequently, but waking up in pain, you should discuss these two medical possibilities with your doctor, since both can be diagnosed and treated, giving everyone in the family a more peaceful night's sleep.